an edict

the population control department and the population classification department of the republic of x have jointly issued the following decree: effectively immediately, the classifications of male and female and non-binary, left and center and right, liberal and radical and conservative, black and white and persons of color, cis and trans, democrat and republican and independent red and blue and purple are all abolished, but, pending further legislation or executive orders, may still be used in private communication by groups of three or fewer citizens. a new system of classification will go into effect on the first day of the month of z______. all citizens must register as one, and only one, of the following six classifications. children under the age of four may be classified by a parent or legal guardian (see executive order 447-4d-67wp007t-4). but on reaching the age of four must declare themselves. the new classifications are as follows: argyles bulgars cashbacks doldrums edifacts fromboses failure to register will be be met with the harshest possible sanction, and there will be no appeal. the classifications have no definitions and no meanings. when all citizens have been counted and the percentages of each classification have been calculated, those who registered in the second lowest percentage group, and those who registered in the third lowest percentage group, will report to their local population center for processing. however, if any classification reaches a percentage greater than 26.2%, the persons registering in that classification will substitute for those in the second lowest percentage. if a second classification also reaches a percentage of 26.2%, persons registering in that classification will substitute for those in the third lowest percentage. and if a third classification also reaches a percentage of 26.2%, the persons on that classification will also report to their local population center for processing. failure of any citizens to report to processing centers, if they are in the classifications determined as described above, will be be met with the harshest possible sanction, and there will be no appeal. this edict is sufficiently self-explanatory, and no questions will be permitted or answered. classification forms will be transmitted at midnight tonight, and must be filled out and submitted within forty-eight hours. * do you think this is a fair way for the republic to address its population problem? yes _______. no __________

two planets

on planet a-1, there is a single village where all the inhabitants live. the population of the village fluctuates between 197 and 203 souls. everybody is equal to everybody else. there is no law, and no authority, and no need for either. everybody gets up in the morning and does what they have to do. there are no seasons on planet a-1. the temperature never changes. light and dark are evenly divided every day into periods of 12 hours each. it rains all day every seventh day. apple trees, peach trees, blueberry bushes, and blackberry bushes surround the village and just beyond the village is a wheat field. a river of clear clean water runs just beyond the wheat field. the villagers subsist on the clear clean water and on apple, peach, blueberry, and blackberry pies baked fresh every day. the village has existed for a trillion years, and will exist for at least another trillion, but nobody in the village is counting. * on planet b-2 there are two trillion inhabitants. one trillion live in the island-city of memphis and the other trillion in the island-city of new orleans. the two cities are at constant war with each other. they are at war over the dwindling resources of the great ocean that otherwise covers planet b-2. the great ocean had been ffilled for a quadrillion years with fish and plants, but generations of the inhabitants of memphis and new orleans have depleted it to the point where it will be empty in another seventeen years. in addition to fighting for the remaining fish and seaweed in the ocean, the armies of the two cities seek to take prisoners who are then eaten by their captors. few of the citizens of either island actually take part in the warfare or in the processing of such food as can still be extracted from the ocean. most of the inhabitants spend their days and nights in the great amphitheaters where games - most involving deaths of the participants - are continually held. and when they are not actually witnessing these spectacles, they gamble on them and plan their strategies for the gambling on them. except for the ruling elites, who make up 1 precent of 1 percent of the population, the citizens are fed, twice a day, at great soup kitchens that surround the great amphitheaters. in addition to running out of fish and plants, planet b-2 is running out of oxygen. both cities employ squads of technicians who are busy trying to invent an ultimate weapon that will obliterate the other - but which, if successful, will almost surely destroy both sides. each side is determined to crush the other, before the end comes. * which planet would t you rather live on? a-1 __________ b-2 __________

24 more authors

here is another list of 24 authors. which do you think is the “best” of them? which do you think is the “worst”? which, if any, do you think should be taught in schools? name up to four. which, if any, do you think should have their books banned? name up to four. note that as this quiz/survey is appearing on facebook, facebook may use your answers, if any, to deduce information about you. here are the 24 authors: william burroughs ernest hemingway robert e howard langston hughes jack kerouac h p lovecraft norman mailer george r r martin toni morrison anais nin james patterson ezra pound ayn rand jean rhys j k rowling danielle steel gertrude stein harriet beecher stowe j r r tolkien alice walker david foster wallace edith wharton phyllis wheatley virginia woolf

5 more questions

1. what do you think is the best way for the earth to relate to the sun? a) the earth revolve around the sun b) the sun revolve around the earth c) the earth and the sun take turns revolving around each other, on alternate months d) neither move at all, but just stay where they are 2. given the need to conserve the earth’s resources, what do you think is the ideal weight for a human being? a) 1 to 10 ounces b) 1 to 10 pouunds c) 50 to 150 pounds d) 1000 to 5000 pounds e) other (specify) 3. it is determined that aliens are beaming rays to earth. to protect human brains fro the rays, every person on earth is instructed to wear a hat at all times. what color do you think the hat should be? a) black b) red c) white d) blue e) green f) other (specify) 4. in the year 5001, the population of earth is 10,000,000,0003 people, of which 10,000,000,000 are poets sitting in cafes , 1 is a waiter bringing them their coffee, 1 is a truck driver bringing the coffee beans to the cafes, and 1 is a peasant growing the coffee beans. which would you rather be? a) one of the 10,000,000,000 poets b) the waiter c) the truck driver d) the peasant 5. bill gates has a gutenberg bible worth 10 billion dollars. he sells it to elon musk for the 10 billion, and then takes the 10 billion and buys 10 billion dollars worth of healthy food and gives it to the hungry people of the world. elon musk then takes the gutenberg bible and sells it to jeff bezos for the same 10 billion and buys another 10 billion of healthy food to distribute around the world. jeff bezos then sells the bible to warren buffett and buys 10 billion of food and some clothing to distribute… warren buffett then sells the vladimir putin and… you get the idea. the bible is sold endlessly, producing 10 billion dollars on a daily basis until everybody in the world has enough healthy food and warm clothing and tvs and cell phones to occupy their time… do you think this is a good idea and a good way to solve the world’s problems? a) yes b) no c) maybe d) no opinion

24 authors

here is a list of 24 authors. which do you think is the “best” of them? which do you think is the “worst”? which, if any, do you think should be taught in schools? name up to four which, if any, do you think should have their books banned? name up to four note that as this quiz/survey is appearing on facebook, facebook may use your answers, if any, to deduce information about you. here are the 24 authors: chiamanda ngozi adichie margaret atwood james baldwin elizabeth bishop dan brown charles bukowski willa cather raymond chandler philip k dick samuel r delany joan didion t s eliot bret easton ellis f scott fitzgerald john grisham lillian hellman zora neale hurston e l james stephen king d h lawrence harper lee margaret mitchell joyce carol oates dorothy parker

4 more questions

1. you are kidnapped by aliens. you are told that earth will be destroyed unless you kill one of these people. which one do you choose? a) donald trump b) nancy pelosi c) vladimir putin d) president xi of china e) tucker carlson f) colin kaepernick g) joe biden h) george soros i) none - you let earth be destroyed 2. you operate a raft which crosses a swiftly flowing river two miles wide and of indeterminate depth. the maximum weight the raft carries is two thousand pounds. as you are about to depart with close to a full load, a creature approaches and asks to be taken on board. the creature, to your eye. resembles an african bush elephant. you consult your chart and note that an african bush elephant weighs between 10,000 and 14,000 pounds. you say to the creature, i am sorry, mr elephant, but at between 10,000 and 14,000 pounds, you exceed the safety limit of the raft. the creature replies, oh but i identify as a butterfly, and a butterfly weighs one fifth of an ounce. do you let the creature on board the raft? a) yes____ b) no ____ 3. which of these terms best describes yourself? a) psychopath b) nonentity c) jerk d) karen e) worthless piece of human garbage 4. which of these terms best describes yourself? a) lost b) confused c) gullible d) ignorant e) helpless

4 questions

1. which of these propositions do you find the most believable? the least believable? a) that the earth is flat b) that every word in the christian bible is literally true c) that the british royal family are lizards from outer space d) that hillary clinton and nancy pelosi operate a worldwide child pornography and prostitution ring e) that marxism has any meaning in the 21st century 2. four people - a jamaican cleaning lady, an irish cleaning lady, an indonesian cleaning lady, and albert einstein - are stranded on a desert island in the pacific ocean. a boat rescues them, but as soon as they are safely on board, the island explodes and the debris sink into the deepest part of the ocean, leaving no evidence of the island’s existence. when the four are interrogated by scientists as to the nature and details of the island, they give four totally different accounts. whom do you think the scientists are most likely to believe? a) the jamaican cleaning lady b) the irish cleaning lady c) the indonesian cleaning lady d) albert einstein e) none of them 3. a plane carrying one hundred passengers and crew stops to refuel on a desert island in the southern pacific. the island has no inhabitants. during the stop, all of the crew and all but two of the passengers are stricken with a brain disease which renders them them incoherent and physically dysfunctional. only two passengers are unaffected. one of them must try to fly the plane back to civilization. the two passengers are hermann goering, who is an experienced pilot, and anne frank, who had never been on a plane in her life before this flight. which of them do you think should fly the plane? a) hermann goering b) anne frank 4. outside the all night cafe, al shoots and kills bob. al is standing over bob’s body with the smoking gun in his hand, and chuck comes along. chuck says to al , you shot bob. and al replies, what do you care? you never cared anything about bob when he was alive. and he is right - chuck never did care about bob when he was alive. chuck is a complete hypocrite. so the question is - is bob dead? a) yes b) no