complete the sentence - you win the nobel prze for literature if you get 14 of these right

here are twenty beginnings and twenty completions of sentences. match the beginning with the completion. you win the nobel prize for literature if you can get 14 right. beginnings: 1. adam brown was a concerned democrat 2. lily webster thought she owned the earth 3. roy rafferty liked dogs better than people 4. omar khayyam put all his cards on the table 5. jesse james got off the bus at midnight 6. sam carter and paul bunyan got into a heated argument 7. sheriff frank morrison put out an all points bulletin 8. the man in the green hat and the red bow tie scratched his head 9. everybody laughed at poor king tut 10. don’t go, henry, adele begged 11. billy the kid came in third in the county spelling bee 12. )kathy martin hated paula montgomery 13. the barbarian woke up suddenly 14. a man with brown shoes walked down the dusty highway 15. rita jones had a new hairdo 16. come on out, luke! the captain shouted 17. a tear rolled down the scoutmaster’s cheek 18. father joe’s hand trembled as he opened the letter from the archbishop 19. the town just did not seem the same 20. i call them like i see them, mike fink stoutly asserted * completions: a) but ed ford had a great hunger for chaos b) since al davis came from home from college c) notwithstanding their grandmother’s curious will d) but the stock market crash put a stop to all that nonsense e) just as sadie green was wiping down the counter of the bluebird cafe f) but it turned out the american people had different ideas g) when whitey zane and blackie adams faced off h) because the gold watch was nowhere to be found i) after the train left the station at dawn j) but the lion hid out all day in the old red barn k) unfortuntely, it was too late l) for no good reason, it seemed m) but the girl was gone and was not coming back n) but there was nothing behind him on the road o) and it started to rain p) and then all hell broke loose q) he was down to his last twenty-five cents r) but slade had an ace up his sleeve s) and the wind had blown it all away t) come back, come back, everybody shouted

21 questions

1. do you believe that there are people who rule the world? 2. do you believe that there are people who rule the world and that these people, if they wished to, could order the complete reorganization of human society? 3. do you believe that human society needs to be completely reorganized? 4. do you believe that human society needs to be completely reorganized and that a world government needs to be established to do the reorganization? 5. do you believe that all humans should be free do what they want? 6. do you believe that all land stolen from indigenous peoples should be returned to them, and all colonial regimes be abolished? 7. if you believe that all land stolen from indigenous peoples should be returned to them, and that all colonial regimes be abolished, do you think that these goals are compatible with the establishment of a world government? 8. do you believe that hate speech should be outlawed? 9. if you believe that world government is a good idea, do you think that the world government should establish a department of information to combat disinformation, and/or a department of toleration to combat hatred? 10. do you think that churches or other organizations that oppose the personal freedoms of women or lbqtq people should be outlawed? 11. do you believe that all children should receive a good education? 12. if you believe that all children should receive a good education, do you think that decisions as to what constitutes the good education should be made by the world government, or by local governments of indigenous peoples? 13. do you believe that all children should have a healthy diet and good medical care? 14. if you believe that all children should have a healthy diet and good medical care, do you think that decisions as to what constitutes a healthy diet and good medical care should be made by the world government, or by local governments of indigenous peoples? 15. do you believe that all citizens, regardless of age, should be required to have a healthy diet and good medical care? 16. if you believe that all citizens, regardless of age, should be required to have a healthy diet and good medical care, do you think that decisions as to what constitutes a healthy diet and good medical care should be made by the world government, or by local governments of indigenous peoples? 17. do you believe that all colonial peoples should return to their original places of origin? 18. do you believe that all colonial peoples should be re-educated? 19. do you believe that guns, or other individually owned weapons or items that could be used as weapons, should be outlawed? 20. do you believe that scientific efforts to increase the life spans of humans should be encouraged? 21. do you believe that the human race cam live forever?

a quiz - you have an i q of 400 if you get 13 of these right

1. gilgamesh was king of: a. uruk b. babylon c. the blues d. new york 2. joshua fought the battle of: a. jericho b. actium c. waterloo d. new orleans 3. king arthur was king of a. albion b. the holy roman empire c. the mountain d. atlantis 4. the last ruler of egypt before it was absorbed by the roman empire was: a. cleopatra i b. cleopatra ii c. clepoatra vii d. cleppatra xi 5. which of these famous persons lived the longest time ago? a. moses b. confucius c. plato d. napoleon 6. which of these individuals went on the first crusade? a. peter the hermit b. joan of arc c. richard the lion hearted d. napoleon 7. who was the last roman emperor? a. julius caesar b. constantine the great c. marcus aurelius d. romulus augustulus 8. who was the first emperor of the ming dynasty? a. mao zedong b. confucius c. zhu yuanzhang d. sun tzu 9. who threw shadrach, mesgach, and abednego into the fiery furnace? a. nebuchadnezzar i b. nebuchadnazzar ii c. salome d. jezebel 10. who write “the art of war”? a. mao zedong b. sun tzu c. ulysses s grant d. george s patton 11. who was the first roman emperor to commit suicide? a. julius caesar b. caligula c. nero d. marcus aurelius 12. which of these individuals did not go on the third crusade? a. joan of arc b. richard the lion hearted c. philip augustus d. frederick barbarossa 13. who killed cock robin? a. richard the lion hearted b. robin hood c. the sheriff of mottingham d. the sparrow 14. who wrote “a new way to pay old debts”? a, william shakespeare b. ben jonson c. philip massinger d. aphra behn 15. who surrendered to george washington at yorktown? a, george iii b. cornwallis c. the duke of wellington d. napoleon 16. who surrendered to grant at appomattox? a. stonewall jackson b. andrew jackson c. robert e lee d. john brown 17. who shot poor jesse james in the back? a, bob ford b. henry ford c. john wilkes booth d. theodore roosevelt 18. who wrote “the mystery of edwin drood”? a. agatha christie b. charles dickens c. queen victoria d. virginia woolf 19. how many home runs did babe ruth hit in 1919? a. 29 b. 39 c. 49 d, 59 20. what was joe dimaggio’s batting average in 1939? a. .321 b. .341 c. ,361 d. .381

a test

two people, ursula and victor, take a test, which consists of twenty multiple choice questions with four possible answers each. they take the test in separate windowless rooms. there are no other persons in the rooms while they take the test. ursula and vistotr may not leave their respective rooms while they take the test and they are not allowed any devices by which they can communicate with each other, or with which they can look up the answers. in any case, there are no right answers prior to the test being taken. the "correct" answers are chosen randomly by the tester while ursula and victor are in the act of taking the test. what do you think are the odds of ursula and victor getting the same answers to each question? there are four possible answers to each of the twenty questions. a) 1 in 2 b) 1 in 4 c) 1 in 20 d)1 in 80 e) 1 in greater than 80 here is the test: 1. alice’s favorite color is a. red b. yellow c. blue d. green 2. bob’s favorite food is a. pizza b. cheeseburgers c. french fries d. chocolate cake 3. corinne describes herself as a. a feminist b. a socialist c. an artist d. a lost soul 4. dave works as a a, delivery person b. bartender c. consultant d. personal assistant 5. elaine wants to a. conquer the world b. be a good person c. live forever d. see justice done 6. frank’s most often used expression is: a. whatever b. i don’t think so c. yeah right d. if you say so 7. greta has a pet a. hamster b. cat c. turtle d. pig 8. hassan is filled with: a. rage b. regret c. sorrow d. anomie 9. irene is a. a good person b. a bad person c. a methodist d. a presbyterian 10. jack thinks he is a. the universe’s gift to women b. the worlds luckiest person c. the world’s unluckiest person d. unfairly treated by the world 11. karla is a. a nasty person b. a housewife c. no longer speaking to kenneth d. molly’s best friend 12. larry wants to a, save the world b. write a bestselling novel c. be everybody’s friend d. be the most famous person in the world 13. maureen likes to a. take a nap every afternoon b. tell lies about mike c. eat chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream d. wiggle her toes 14. nick a. is sorry he was ever born b. thinks people should be nicer c. does not like yogurt d. is a yankees fan 15. oriana a. reads romance novels b. likes to walk in the rain c. is allergic to cats d. refuses to eat mushrooms 16. pete a. takes a nap every afternoon b. thinks all politicians are liars c. does not believe in climate change d. has big ears 17. ms quigley teaches a, french b. english c, biology d. history 18. ralph is a. a great guy b. a jerk c. a psychopath d. a dreamer 19. susie is a. sensitive b. sweet c. charming d. boring 20. tony is a. ready but rough b. debonair c. his mother’s pride and joy d. just a guy

the worst person

who do you think is the worst person who ever lived? a) adolf hitler, because he was a homophobe b) j k rowling, because she was/is a transphobe c) mother teresa, because she denied a woman’s right to her own body d) donald trump, because he said grab em by the pussy e) genghis khan, because he abused animals f) george washington, because he owned slaves g) christopher columbus, because he invented whiteness h) other* - specify ————————- * suggestions winston churchill abraham lincoln robert e lee margaret thatcher moses adam eve

an election

you are a citizen of the republic of g. every four years there is an election for prime minister and every citizen is required to vote, and to actually cast a vote for one of the candidates who have made it to the final round. any citizen not voting, or submitting a blank ballot, or attempting to write in a candidate, is subject to 25 years in prison and the confiscation of all their property. in short, you must vote for one of the candidates. the seven candidates in the upcoming election are genghis khan, herbert asquith, rosie the riveter, mother hubbard, colossus v, robin hood, and nancy pelosi. their platforms are as follows: genghis khan: world government, a single fixed income for all citizens, climate change the number one priority of government, the abolition of war, and the outlawing of abortion and gender reassignment surgery. herbert asquith: permanent war, gladiatorial games, the return of slavery, the abolition of religion, abolition of nuclear family, legalization of drugs. legalization of abortion, climate change a priority all positions in society, including slavery, determined by tests. rosie the riveter: reduction by abortion of the male population to 1% of the total population (pending the advent of cloning, when men can be disposed of completely), single fixed income for all citizens, permanent war, no measures to combat climate change. mother hubbard: world peace, no abortion or gender reassignment all citizens required to pray two hours a day, single fixed income for all citizens, major effort to fight climate change, no gay or transgender rights. colossus v: all citizens are slaves, and work every day on a fleet of ships which will conquer the galaxy. all reproduction at the direction of the state, no activity except work, sleeping, eating, and state directed reproduction, all citizens are equal and receive exactly equal amounts of food, clothing, living space. etc robin hood: no rules or government at all no authority and therefore no appeals to authority nancy pelosi: reduction of the human population to 26 people, the number to be strictly maintained after it is achieved. return of the human population to its original home in the olduvai gorge in africa. cloning of all extinct animals , including dinosaurs and dragons, and the return to them of their original homelands

order 53

every citizen must declare as one of them. they are: baroomers corinthionians drubops foregoners grassflippers membrunists quatworthies rotamotlors stugcrumps timscrums urglethwats whiffenbluffs zignuts all citizens have thirty days to declare their classification. for assistance in classifying yourself, please contact your local office of the department of classifications.