you have been invited to serve as a judge for a novel writing contest.
there are thirteen finalists from which to choose:
a) the apple, by charles collingford. mr collingford is a yale man, and has been in the diplomatic service for forty years. he has been married five times, and has ten children and five grandchildren.
b) the banana, by will davis. will is a graduate of the writing program at stanford and the film program at u c l a, and has produced advertising videos for the liverpool football club and the qatar national football club..
c) the cupcake, by samantha stringley. samantha grew up in a town of 7 people on the wyoming-montana border and won a scholarship to california polytechnic institute when she was fourteen. her memoir, “mud in the wind” was an international bestseller, but “the cupcake” is her first novel.
d) the border, by carla wong. ms wong was one of the active leaders of a campaign against homophobia and transphobia in the people’s republic of china, and is currently serving a ten year prison sentence in that country. her 1800 page novel chronicles the lives of 20 generations of women raising sheep in inner mongolia.
e) the entropy people, by “y”. “y” is a non-binary person living in a tent city in oakland. they have never learned to “read” or “write” and believe that “writing” and “thinking” are humanist-colonialist constructs designed to destroy the ancient wisdom of pure empathy.
f) forever is a noun, human is a verb, by j stuff. j stuff is a securities analyst and human rights activist. they live in des moines iowa with three partners and five children.
g) get out of my fucking way, by dave danforth. mr danforth is a former navy seal and texas ranger and currently serves as a director of the caucasian rennaissance foundation.
h) how to bake a perfect pie, by helen may francis. ms francis is 95 years old, and has lived her whole life in knoxville tennessee. this is her first attempt at writing a book, and she “never knew it could be so much fun”.
i) incognito, by e. nuff. nothing is known about e. nuff.
j) jerri’s jellybeans, by amanda brown. amanda is a christian evangelist who has adopted twelve children from west and central africa, and is active in the pro-life movement.
k) kaleidoscope 33, by jeffrey talbot. jeffrey is a 13 year old student at phillips exeter academy. both his parents and all four of his grandparents are self made billionaires. his novel pokes gentle fun at feminism, especially the #metoo movement, and at diversity in general.
l) laugh, it won’t kill you, by lou j goldstein. mr goldstein operated a talent agency in reno for 45 years, specializing in pole dancers , animal acts, and comedians.
m) a man shows up, by mike marstton. mr marston Is a retired police officer. his novel is about a rogue cop who takes on the deep state - alone.
the question is,
would you feel any need to read any of these books, before awarding the prize for the best one?
yes ______ no _________
if you answered “no”, which book would you award the prize to?
